Writer's Block?

I got nothing.
Christmas is coming, gifts are being bought, my birthday is Monday.
and that's all you're going to get from me tonight.

The Gimmies older brother I Needa

Christmas is coming and that alone is my favorite time. Only because when my kids tell me they neeeed this or that I can say "Let's put it on your Christmas list". some of my favorite words because I don't have to say no. I don't have to tell them the reason that they can't have it is because I have no money, or because I think the toy is stupid or inappropriate or whatever my reason is. those seven words are magic to me. Also, they don't blame me if they don't get everything on their list, haha! they blame Santa! or we could blame the postal service for not getting their letters to Santa...either way, I win.
So, now the shopping begins for the perfect gifts for everyone. do you think I can blame Santa or the postal service if the adults don't like their gifts? No, but too bad....As my esteemed mother in law says, "you don't get what you want, you get what I think you should have". so put that in your stocking and stuff it! That means....someones getting a snuggie!!!!!

Silence is Golden

I have decided that talking is way overrated. When I was in high school, if you asked my friends to give one word to describe me they would all say "talkative". I would talk anytime, anywhere, and usually too loud. As I got older I realized that not everyone wanted to hear what I had to say so I lowered the volume and only talked about things I knew about or had some kind of experience with. Now that I am much older I have come to the realization that I don't have a whole lot of interesting things to say and that I really just like to listen. I am not upset by this, in fact it is kind of freeing. In one sense, I don't have to try to fill the silence like I did when I was younger. On the other hand however it does get kind of awkward at hubby's work functions. He always leaves me alone with someone I barely know and thinks we will "hit it off" and really....we don't. He thinks I should get together with the wife of one of the other lawyers because she's a SAHM and our kids are roughly the same age. I know her and the only thing we have in common is that our husbands work at the same firm.
Not talking does cause some problems with family. Like my mom who thinks that I'm mad at her because I'm not talking to her. Or my sister who says things like "you used to talk all the time in HS". hello! HS was 20 years ago! I also rolled up my jeans and rocked out to New Edition. Grow up.
I do wonder if I am doing my kids a disservice by not talking about anything and everything. I do let them know that I am here for them but I don't babble on about just anything. Also, just like kids, they don't listen when I talk anyway!
Bottom line is I don't really like to talk all that much anymore. and I am ok with that even if others aren't.

OMG! another car??!!!

So our van died and tonight my hubby went out and bought a "new" car. He bought the 2008 Mazda5. It's a nice car, we looked at it before when we decided on the Suzuki. One of the main reasons was the the 5 didn't have rear air and with three row seating it's good to have rear air. The 2008 have rear air so that of course put it back on the list. so without saying anything to me he comes home with a new car. do we have the money for this? I don't know. can we afford the payments? I don't know. Scary? totally? I guess we can can always go on a no food diet. Let the dogs start hunting the squirrels in the backyard for food. our bank pretty much owns us now. they have our house, our suzuki, a loan, and now another car! they must love us. Stay tuned for updates. Unless of course I can't afford internet anymore.....

Could it get any worse?

WARNING******WHINE ALERT*****WHINE ALERT*****

Ever feel like your life has fallen into the shit hole and you can't dig yourself out? This is kind of where I think I am. First, things are not good at the office and so money is tighter than the JoBros pants, and I can't make my 7 year old understand why he can't play basketball when he finally decided he wanted to play on a team. Trying to limit the dogs food so I'm not spending a fortune on dog food. Second, T is still working on the Blackstone and it's on and off and getting very stressful for both of us. We don't have the money to be spending on wining and dining potential investors but..... Everytime I turn around the school wants money. the kids need it for lunch, the play, this fundraiser and then another. Now to top it all off the van has a cracked (broken?) head gasket. Long story short, T had to drive to Rockport and made it about 30 miles outside Corpus Christie and van died. Couple months ago we replaced the water pump and today there was no water in the water pump and all of the oil leaked out of top of the engine. whatever. All I know is that the van is about an hour away and we have no money to get it fixed. but get it fixed we must so we have a car. When it rains it pours!
I'm so stressed out that I am getting a canker soar on my lip. 37 years old and this is my 2nd one. first one came after a dentist appt....coincidence? I don't think so.
Ok, I'm done feeling sorry for myself. oh, and I drank a coke today. I almost made it a week without coke. but that's it. No more coke. At least not today.

I like Golf?

So today I did something I never thought I would do....I went to a golf tourney. weird I know. But the thing is I think I might have liked it just a little. Although I suggest you don't do all of that walking in flip flops. Being a golf novice I didn't know that I should wear tennis shoes, no one told me. I even wore a sundress because we were in the sky villa and I didn't want to look the the nerd that I am and embarrass my hubby. I thought it was a work thing but no, his boss just gave him the tickets. anyway....It was interesting because it is really a civilized game. no hootin and hollerin, no rushing the green. People did what they were told...seriously when the hushers said be quiet everyone was quiet. when we were told to stop walking, we stopped walking. This is my dream sport I think. A sport where everyone does what they are told AND bonus....I didn't have to talk if I didn't want to. People were drinking wine and beer, eating cheese and crackers, chips and salsa and in our case a buffet lunch! I truly became so relaxed that I could have fallen asleep but I don't think that would've looked to good. Granted I could have been super bored also and its been so long since I've been that relaxed I might have a hard time recognizing it! does this mean I will add golf to my sports tv lineup......NO! but I will never again look at the game the same again.

Can I live a Coke free life?

Today was the first day (one of many firsts) of my no more coke kick. I love coke....I admit it. I could drink it all day. Water? who needs it? Give me a coke in a 44 oz cup any day.

Today went well for the most part. I went to the grocery store and didn't feel the urge to buy a bottle at the checkout. Drove past my shell station many times and had to slightly fight the urge to drive in and get a new cup and fill it up with that icy goodness but I didn't. not today. I'm pretty sure it is effecting my brain functions....can't think too well. I am going to try my hardest to stick with it. I have the support of my friends and family....here's to not letting them down. and to hoping that I can drop some weight in the process.